Choices
by DarkShadow1
Summary: Stuck in between two roads Just read it....COMPLETE R rating is for sexual content.
1. Default Chapter

"...Sounds to me like a nut with a crush..."  
  
Here I am, stuck against a refrigerator and Hannibal Lecter is kissing me. I didn't think it would come to this. When Krendler said that, I thought he was crazy, thought he was loosing his mind. Maybe I was being blind...maybe I didn't want to believe it...or maybe I knew already but wouldn't face it because of how I feel for him.   
I shouldn't feel anything for him. He's a monster, a killer, a madman. Sure, he's refined and unlike anyone I know, but I know too much about this man to feel any type of attachment for him. How am I supposed to love a man I can never be with? How will I feel about him in ten years? How will I feel about myself in ten years?   
How did I come to love a monster? He's kissing me, I'm stuck, I don't know what to do in this situation...it's been only a split second and my mind is racing with thoughts and I don't know if I should respond and give everything up, or use the handcuffs in my dress... 


	2. Who am I without him

Chapter Two:  
He's looking at me...asking me questions, wondering what my decision will be. He looks at me and deep in my eyes like he's analyzing my thoughts, wondering what I'll do next. I only stare at him, all I can do is stare at him. What will my decision be? There is nothing to loose...but is there anything to gain? If we are caught, I will go to jail and he will get the needle. At least if I am still in the F.B.I I can try and save him...*she laughs* yeah, because my opinion on what to do with my cannibal lover will weigh highly now. I saved this man from death at Muskrat farm even though strict orders told me to stay home. And do what? Let him die? Let the only man I have ever loved be killed by a man seeking nothing but revenge for something that happened to him because he was stupid enough to accept drugs from a Doctor?   
This is the only chance I will get to make this decision...the only choice I have is now. I have to make it quickly before he departs from me and leaves me here forever.   
Forever...leaving me...that breaks me apart. Why does it destroy me to think about him leaving forever? I have to see him, I just have to. I have to hear from him, or else what value does my life hold?   
Who am I without the madman who made me complete? Who am I without the man who made me question my entire life and change it? Who am I without the man who looked deep within me and didn't leave as soon as he saw all of me?   
Who am I without him?  
I am nobody without him. My choice should be simple...I don't need the F.B.I to make me happy anymore...what I need is to run and be with him.   
"So Clarice...what will it be? Will you choose to come and leave with me now, or stay behind and forget me completely?"   
I look deeply into his eyes...The final answer I have dreaded all these years is upon me now like a knife. I have to be with him. I have to tell him. 


	3. Don't change me

Chapter Three:  
  
"Dr. Lecter..." I'm whispering. He's looking at me with those piercing eyes, telling me to choose now or never. I can't do this...where am I going to go from here? I know I have to tell him, I know it will end up a tedious speech, but he will have to bear with me. I love him...I know I love him, but he needs to know what will and won't happen if I leave with him.  
"Dr. Lecter..." I look into his eyes, "I want to leave with you. I do want to leave with you; my life isn't complete without you."  
His eyes light up and then he slithers, "but...?"  
"But," I continue, "I will not be with you if you will not give up your habits I understand who you are, but you also know who I am Dr. I will not accept being with you if you will not give that up for me."  
He smiles, pleased with my honesty and looks at me, his head tilts a little bit and he laughs.   
"Clarice, Clarice, you honestly hate who I am inside don't you?"  
I stumble, "N...no! That's not what I'm saying." I try to catch my breath this took the wrong turn.   
"You my sweet Clarice want me to give up who I am, just to appease that sweet little conscience of yours don't you? You want to hide who I am so you can feel normal, is that right?"   
I laugh and under my breath and say, "a normal life with you?"  
He takes me by the throat and looks me deeply in the eye and half yells, "YES CLARICE A NORMAL LIFE WITH ME. Is that so funny to you? That I would take you with me? That I AM willing to change who I am for you? THIS, "he points at me and then at him, "this is funny Clarice?"  
I look at him, fear is not something I feel with him anymore. Without reason and without thinking, I grab his neck and pull him into me and kiss him. He is actually at a loss. He doesn't respond for a moment and then he kisses me, passionately, searching my mouth and then he pulls back.   
He breaths lightly and whispers into my ear, "I will change who I am, if that means I don't have to live without you."   
I take his hand off my neck, which he forgot was there, and push him back off of me.   
"Dr. Lecter, you would give up everything you are to be with me, is that right?"  
"Yes it is."  
He tries to inch closer to me, but I won't let him.   
"This conversation isn't over yet." I look at him with an iron will and try to express what's in my head.  
"Hannibal Lecter, I will leave with you, because of how I feel about you. As much as I wish I didn't feel this way about you, I will admit it, loose my pride and my morals and everything I have worked for, and leave with you now."   
I take a step back and start to circle him. He stays still, enjoying where the conversation is going.   
"I will not walk on egg shells around you, Dr. You know me better than that, so you had better be ready to accept me for who I am and not try to change me in any way. I will not accept any therapy from you, not even for my father issues, I will not accept any of that from you. If you wish to be with me, you will not change me," I stop an inch before him and take his head in my hands, "Do you understand me?"  
With an animal ferocity he throws me across the kitchen onto the counter and leaps onto me, I look up at him as he pins my arms down, "Yes Clarice, I understand. I wouldn't change you. I won't even dream of it, but you will not change anything else about me. I will stop killing for you, but I will not change anything else. I will do this only because I know it's the only way I can be with you, and that means more to me. Freeing the world of the rude is not a worthy goal in my life if I am alone in the world I wish to better."   
I look at him and try to free my arms, but he has them in a grip that no one could break. He leans down over me and takes my mouth on his and claims me as his. He is searching my body now with his lips, his grasp on my wrists loosening and going down my arms, where he finally cups my breasts instead.   
I feel that I'm being lifted off the counter, and I open my eyes and he is carrying me up the stairs. He places me on the bed on my stomach, and undoes my dress and slips it off of my gently. He folds it and tosses it onto a chair. My shoes are the next to leave. I am completely naked, since he did not dress me in any underwear. I hear him chuckle and I turn on the bed and look at him. He is holding the handcuffs and looks down at me, "what a nice place to hide these my dear." He places me on the pillows and cuffs my wrists together to the back of the bed.   
"I suppose you wanted to use these tonight, so I will fulfill that wish for you."   
  
He is removing his clothing and he is looking at me while he does so. He then gets onto me again runs his hands all over my body. His mouth follows. He is moving from my breasts to my stomach to my thighs. Then I feel his tongue dart out and taste me. My stomach tightens a little as he licks and probes me. His tongue darts onto my clit and I squirm a little. He is placing his hands on my hips now, in an effort to keep me from moving. He wants me to feel the delightful pain he wishes to bestow on me.   
He goes back to his torture on me and I try not to move. He has me in a tight grip and he is moving his tongue like lightning.   
I'm screaming now, his name, profanity and even the name of God passes by my lips. The torture is too much. Then, a warmth passes through my legs to my stomach and my eye sight goes dark and a powerful orgasm passes through me. My body convulses, my arms are pulling in vain against the handcuffs and I'm screaming out his name. He lets go of my hips and his body covers mine, and I can feel his hot erection pressing into me. His face is close to mine and I whisper into his ear, "Is this one of your scenarios Dr.?"  
He doesn't respond, just pushes himself into me and lies there for a moment before moving. I close my eyes to take in all of the pleasure this man is giving me, and he begins his assault on my body.   
At first he goes slowly, and then he is pressing harder and harder into me with more force. I am thrusting back into him, eager to give him pleasure and let him feel his own release.   
"Release my hands Hannibal..." I am begging him now.  
He does not respond.  
I lock my legs around him so he can't move anymore, and demand once more, "release my arms"  
He looks into my eyes and complies. His eyes are dark...he is about to go over the edge, ready to snap at any minute and let all of himself pour into me, but I won't let him, not yet. I want to touch him, and I want to feel him everywhere.   
He releases my arms and tries to continue, but I keep my legs tightly in place. He groans and looks up at me.  
"Is there something else you wanted?"  
His voice is deep, husky, and I know he is ready to use force on me if I won't comply.   
"I want you to look at me. I want to watch you."  
His eyes keep a lock on mine and I let go of him lightly and put the heel of my foot in his back up by his shoulder blade. He thrusts into me now, and his eyes are flooding with passion. He is going harder than before now, obviously eager to please me along with himself. His eyes never leave mine...He is still thrusting. I am fighting with the urge to close my eyes, for I feel a powerful climax coming over me again. I feel him pulsating inside of me and I know he is almost ready to come.   
"Harder Hannibal...harder..."   
My plea sends him over the edge and he pushes into me as hard as he can and wont stop until he is ready to let go. He is forcing me over my edge and won't stop until he is ready to release himself into me. Finally, he lets himself go in me. My climax it hitting me at the same time, and my eyes turn dark but I can still see his face. He is trying to keep his eyes open to look at me, and he is convulsing in me. Finally he drops, and his head lands in my shoulder.   
I place my hand on his back, my legs still wrapped around him, and I whisper, "I love you."  
He looks at me then, and smiles and pushes hair out of my eyes and whispers, "I love you Clarice. You knew that already."  
  
He rolls off of me and he holds me and we fall asleep together.   
  
I made the right choice. I am at peace...and I am free.   
  
AN: The end! I am kind of going back to my old ways of my stories, except for the fact they're not dead... anyway, hope you liked it! 


End file.
